Karmic Retribution

I was going to say something about trying not to complain, but scratch that.  I'm going to complain for a minute.  This week has just been AWFUL.  In no particular order, here's all the fun going on:

• D is still studying like a maniac for his upcoming exams, meaning I see him about, oh, 5 minutes any given day
• Dishwasher broke down on Monday.  Not scheduled for repairs until tomorrow.
• L has had so many potty accidents she is now wearing diapers again.
• I am sicker than a dog, a really sick dog.  I couldn't even get A to school on Tuesday.

I can't help but wonder sometimes what I must've done in a previous life to warrant times like this.  *sigh*  Things can only get better, right?

Don't Forget the Family

Yesterday was a rough day.  I had to be the bearer of bad news to someone I deeply care about.  The kind of news that a person should be involved in, not finding out about months later through a friend who read it on the internet.

It made me really grateful to the family and friends who are involved in my life and let me be involved in theirs.  And it also made me think about those that I wish I knew better and spent more time with.  Those people that I want to be there for instead of hearing about them through the grapevine.

So this is my plea to myself and to you: be in touch.  Take the time to get to know the people you care about.  Especially your family.  Nothing is worth shutting out your family.

Now, I know that there are extenuating circumstances.  There is abuse of many varieties that cannot and should not be tolerated.  But family is still important.  If counseling and therapy need to happen to stay in touch, do it.  If supervised visits or 3rd party moderated letters are the only way to communicate, do it.  People on both sides are hurt when individuals can't face up to reality and have the courage to deal with it.  But it's also an ordeal that is best not to go through alone.  And locking the closet door won't make the skeletons go away.

Good, Better, Best

No, this isn't about the 'make your good better, and your better best' little poem.  In fact, it's almost about the opposite.  You see, I run in cycles.  Taking a lot of projects on, then feeling overwhelmed, cutting back, finishing everything up, and then feeling like I want to be doing more.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm realizing now that I would rather be on an even keel.  Yes, I will always probably have these cycles, to a certain extent.  Life tends to happen in waves; that's just how it is.  But I shouldn't re-evaluate what I'm doing only when I'm overwhelmed.  I should figure out why I'm doing what I'm doing before I even say yes to the project to begin with.  Sounds like a no-brainer, right?  But that means that I need to think about how I'll feel about a project later on down the line, when I'm up to my eyeballs in work, not just about how great it is when I'm looking at the opportunity.  That's not so easy to do.  Saying no is not something I do terribly well.  (Well, unless you are my child.  Sorry, girls.)

So, RESOLVED:

Opportunities that come have to get close scrutiny.  Something being just 'good' isn't going to cut it anymore.  There are a billion 'good' things to do.  Let someone else do them.

A New Outlet

This new year has brought a flurry of activity. Everything seems to be speeding up: family activities, church responsibilities, work projects, and personal goals. While I am achieving more, I also need to take a moment to breathe every once in awhile and assess if what I am doing is actually worth all of the extra speed and pressure. And it wouldn't hurt to have a place to allow myself to revel in what I've accomplished, instead of immediately setting my sights on all I have yet to do.

So I thought I would fire up this blog to give vent to all of the things I've thought about posting but don't really have a place on our family blog. I guess this will be my journal while the other will be more my scrapbook. We'll see if it goes anywhere or if I delete it in 6 months, but whatever the outcome, it already feels nice just to have it.